The “Mourning” After
“No one warns you about the amount of mourning in growth” ~Unknown
That was the quote I saw on Instagram that prompted me to write this. A lot of times when we think of mourning, we think of mourning the loss of a loved one. However during your healing, a lot of growth will occur, and there are so many parts of yourself that will “die” as you grow. As you begin to identify your programming and traumas, you will begin to understand how they have played a role in the behavioral patterns you have grown accustomed to.
As you realize the negative patterns/habits that you need heal from, you must identify the cause that brought upon the effect (your actions). In doing so, you should be taking a thorough look through your childhood relationships, programming, and trauma, in addition to your past friendships and love relationships. The mourning comes in the realization that while fulfilling their own journey in this incarnation, many of our love ones have been the source of our programming and trauma.
A sense of mourning may also come along when you are faced with a situation where you would normally react instead of respond. Reactions usually require little thought, and they tend to be a product of past experiences, fear, and/or, shock. Where as a responses (even low vibratory ones) have thought behind them. When you learn to respond instead of react, you will witness parts of your old self die, and you will have an opportunity to recreate yourself in your highest image of Self. I have found that many of our reactions come with a feeling of satisfaction, even when we know they decrease the vibrations of our being. It is at times like this, when you are given the opportunity to respond to an unpleasant situation, you may reflect on past behaviors that were not beneficial to the outcome. When reflecting on the past, you may find yourself disappointed in the way you may have previously handled things, and sometimes one may even find themselves repeating the behaviors of the past because they still have not completely healed. For many, this can be discouraging on their journey to mental wellness. The key is to stick with it no matter how hard it gets. Some of the behavioral patterns are so embedded, that many may not realize their lack of self control. Identifying the problem is the first step in gaining control of it.
The amount of self realization that takes place during healing can be eye opening, but it can be tough as well.
When you look at yourself in the mirror, and do a full assessment of Self, including but not limited to emotional/mental health, physical health, and self sabotaging behaviors, the findings can be intimidating for many. A lot of us are not as Self aware as we think we are. We do not realize or pay attention to the impact of the constant internal chatter, and lie to ourselves about our true self worth. As you inner-stand Self Love, and the lack of its presence in your decision making, you may also find yourself in a place of mourning. You must remember to be gentle with you!
Some of the most important things about the "mourning"are; allowing yourself to feel, asking yourself questions about your feelings, Self assessments, and the choice to recreate yourself in your Highest image of YOU! Your feelings are yours to honor, but not to waddle in for self pity. They allow you to get a better understanding of your emotional health, and move forward in healing your trauma and programming.
One of the things I had to realize, is the “mourning” has the potential to resurface with every new ascension. Every time we go through an expansive time of growth and transition, we leave old patterns behind. With constant Self assessments, we can always find opportunities for growth, once again putting us in a situation where we have to evaluate the parts of Self that need work.
Healing & growth is a journey, but its well worth the destination of Peace.
A couple of tips to get through the mourning:
Self Love touch:
I have found this practice does wonders for many emotions that we may go through. When you bathe, lotion, or oil your body, speak life into each part of your body that your hands touch.
Thank your body for its strength, and all the hard work it does for you. I like to start at my feet, and work my way up to my heart; moving my hands in a clockwise motion to aid in circulation. I thank every body part as I caress it, speaking aloud, "Thank you feet, I thank you for carrying this body we share, I thank you for allowing me to dance. Thank you too, little toes. Thank you legs, so beautiful and strong..." etc. I find something to be grateful for, about every single body part. Speaking life into yourself is one of the most amazing things you can do for YOU. You may even find, that you have not given thanks to some parts of your body ever in life!! The effects of this will be immediate, even if minimal. The practice of this on a daily basis, will create a phenomenal appreciation for parts of you that you may have never given notice to.
Re-Minding:
Re-minding or Minding your Mind- is full awareness of all thoughts and making the decision to change negative and/or counterproductive thought. There is no given time when we are not thinking. We talk to ourselves in our heads all the time, but what are we saying? We have to make sure our thoughts are aligned with the life that we choose to create. When you "Re-Mind", you are making sure to take notice off all of your thoughts at all times. Thats the goal. It's a lot more challenging than it sounds, considering we have been programmed with many past experiences. During mourning, many may have discouraging or negative thoughts about self worth. In these moments, it would be healthy to have a conscious change of mind, change of mental imagery, and replace negative thoughts with productive affirmations. When I began to mind my mind, I discovered all kinds of low vibratory thoughts that were creating unnecessary road bumps, keeping me from my highest image of Self. After making the decision to re-mind daily, for a period of time (30 days), it became a habit. I became fully aware of my thoughts, and my life began to change.
Journaling:
Journaling allows us to capture our feelings and release some frustration. This record of our feelings (written down at a significant time in our life) is probably triggered because of a certain situation. This can allow us to revisit, and resolve our emotions when we find ourselves in what seems to be a similar situation from the past. We can then self assess and determine if our feelings are feelings of the past, or if we are prejudging the present based on past experiences. Consistent journaling gives us the opportunity to track our growth. We are able to look back and see the changes in our behavior, and also what we need to work on. Sometimes when we journal, we uncover emotions that we wouldn't necessarily recognize without taking a moment to record them. We also get to unload a little bit of tension, and unravel our minds onto paper so we can analyze our rawest thoughts. Journaling is a wonderful tool for self assessments.
There are quite a few ways one can get through the mourning of healing; meditation, positive affirmations and music therapy are a few more that I've really enjoyed. If you have any techniques to share, please do below. Happy Healing!