Nu Waters

I declared, “My waters are holy, never do I step into a body of water that isn’t. My presence creates the energy of Divinity within any waters I submerged myself.”

These are the words I began saying to myself in 2018 when my physical body was at its weakest point. Before then, I never consciously used the element for the healing powers they posses. Spiritual Alchemy wasn’t something I knowingly “studied”. However at this time I realized everything I’d been studying for almost 2 decades, was indeed Spiritual Alchemy. I’d just never intentionally used it.

I would lay in my bed for hours in meditation between the worlds of life & “afterlife”. I knew I wasn’t ready to leave this realm; but in order to stay, I’d been given “conditions”. Those conditions were given to me while submerged in bath water, crying in pain to the Ancestors asking them “Why me?”. I was told that I “didn’t care for my life”, and that I’d “been given tools to help heal my people”, and if I wasn’t going to “fulfill my Souls Purpose, I could join them, and do the work on the other side”.

I was literally living from peace to pain. During meditation (I did daily 8-10 hours a day), I was at peace, my highest thought, a silenced mind, focusing on breath and life; when I wasn’t mediating, I was in pain or highly uncomfortable 80-90% of the time.

The water became my escape during the pain. It was the only place of comfort, although the porcelain hurt the bones protruding from my backside. After my encounter with the Ancestors I realized the water was also a gateway for me to communicate with them. I would enter the waters, calm my body, and begin to listen. The listening wasn’t the hard part, it was the obedience I had to attain.

Now fast forward to 2020. I step into the Holy Water at least 3 times a week. I no longer have to make my declaration, because of the relationship I have molded with the water. It knows my Divinity, I know its magic & portals. The Ancestors send me to the water for the most important downloads. Kadidra doesn’t exist there, there Nekhbet receives the information to protect the existence of her people. And she emerges from the Holy Water, the Waters of Nu.

That one time I manifested cancer

Art by: @artbyancient on Instagram

I was no older than 10. She had on a yellow dress, and her hair was beautifully laid down under a white flowered headband. She looked like she was sleeping, but she wasn’t. She laid there in her casket, freshly just transitioned to the Ancestor realm, “lifeless”. Although I don’t remember her name, she introduced me to cancer and death. My mother was a school teacher, and she has always been one to pay her respects. This little girl wasn’t one of her students, she was the niece of a friend. The funeral home where her viewing was being held was about a 1/2 mile away from my school, where my mother taught.

A few years later, when I was 13, my paternal grandmother transitioned from lung cancer. Her death left me with so many questions. She was my first experience with the death of a loved one. My grandfather was diagnosed with intestinal cancer around the time I was 19. At this point, I began to have thought’s of me having cancer. It only made sense. This is when the creation process began.

During my teenaged years, I didn’t think I would live past 21. By the time I turned 21, I didn’t think I would reach 30. In my mid-20s, I began having trouble with my menses. In the back of my mind, the thoughts of cancer lingered. By 30, my paternal aunt was diagnosed with brain cancer, and given 6 months to live. She died a year later. I just knew my turn with this ugly disease was coming.

When I was 34 years old my menses began to slow down, and then finally it disappeared. I knew this was cancers grand entrance into my own life. I began seeing specialist. I was told, due to my family history, I was going through early menopause. I knew they were wrong.

I began taking care of one of my elders around the same time. She was transitioning from stage 4 cancer. Her journey added to the worry/creation of my own dis-ease. I now realize, the time I spent with her was to teach me how to heal myself. Although, I believe it may have also weakened my life force.

I continued to see DRs, but my health continued to decline. I juiced daily, took plenty of herbs, and put myself on a vegan diet, as that seemed to be the best thing to do. My weight was dropping drastically, and most of the time it was hard to keep food down or maintain an appetite.

After about 2 1/2 (2017) years of this, my health became debilitating. Finally a mass was discovered in my womb. In the past, I envisoned seeing my family standing around while I laid in a hospital bed. Now, it was happening. I’d also envisioned them looking down on me in my casket. I knew I wasn’t ready for that reality.

Fast forward to 2018, I ended up having an emergency surgery to remove the mass. Two days after I was released from the hospital my surgeon called to let me know, “it was cancer”. I wasn’t surprised. She also said, “it has all been removed”. I wasn’t surprised there either, as I knew, I had decided to create something different.

Up into that day, I’d been pulling cancer closer and closer to me. Although fearful of it, in my mind, “I HAD to experience it”. And so I did. Almost all of my thoughts of cancer came true. However, when I decided, it was no longer a part of my journey, it was no longer with me.

The experience will always be there. But now, I am mindful of my creations.

Now I create HEALTH!

Chakras for Beginners

Lets Talk Chakras.

Chakras are energy centers within the body; that when properly aligned and balanced, can help our mind, body, and spirit function at optimal levels. Chakra, a Sanskrit word meaning “disk” or “wheel”, represents the continuous energetic fields of light within the body. The body has major and minor chakras, but here we will focus on the main 7.

When one is suffering from an imbalance in their chakras, the odds are it is affecting more than one energy field. Chakras can be under active and/or overactive, deepening on ones life circumstances and how they process, and retain information and energy.

Each chakra is associated with different regions and organs of the body. When a particular energy center is continuously off balance or not properly aligned, one begins to experience dis-ease in the area of that energy center. Our emotions, expressions, self worth, determination, spirituality, anger, happiness and more all play a role in keeping balance within our chakras.

Click on the buttons below, to get a in-depth look into each chakra.

3 Key tips to Self love, after Self destruction

Self Portrait by Christina O. @artist_life (IG)

Although I'd like to blame a few of my ex-boyfriends for my lack of self love, I have grown.  I had to realize, my lack of self love was due to a lack of self awareness. To become fully aware of your self means, to become aware of all your thoughts and actions, as well as, beliefs others have given you about yourself; and to be able to see YOU, down to your NAKEDNESS.

It took me quite a while to stop victimizing myself, and understand the role I played in my dysfunctional relationships.  How I was the catalyst, in my brewing self destruction, by staying.  In not one of these relationships was I forced to stay, or threatened if I were to leave. I just didn't leave.  And that lack of self love, slowly lead to my self destruction. 

In my search for myself, that has lasted the last 20 years, I have finally taken time to Re-Member (bring together), my Mind, Body, and Spirit. I can finally see Myself. Who I Really Am. 

Here are 3 Tips that I Used to get back to Self love, after my Self destruction. 

​1. Take Time TO LOVE ON YOU!​

Make sure you make time for a little lovin' on yourself after bathing.  When you are lotioning/oiling your body, speak to your body, thank your body for its strength, and all the hard work it does for you. I like to start at my feet, and work my way up to my heart; Moving my hands in a clockwise motion to aid in circulation.  I thank every body part as I caress it, speaking aloud, "Thank you feet, I thank you for carrying this body we share, I thank you for allowing me to dance. Thank you too, little toes. Thank you legs, so beautiful and strong..." etc.   I find something to be grateful for, about every single body part.  Speaking life into yourself is one of the most amazing things you can do. You may even find, that you have not given thanks to some parts of your body, ever, in life. The effects of this will be immediate, even if minimal. The practice of this on a daily basis, will create a phenomenal appreciation for parts of you, you may have never given notice to.

2. Meditation/Guided Meditation

I have suggested meditation to quite a few people, for numerous reasons, and I hear the same thing quite frequently. "I cant meditate", or "I can't get my mind to be still".  This, for me, this is very understandable, I was in the same boat. My mind would wonder about everything! Things that I wouldn't even think about when I wasn't meditating.  It has taken me a conscience effort to bring discipline to my own meditation practice.  However, it has been well worth it. In this quest to restore self love,  you will HAVE to put in work. Daily, is best. 

The idea, isn't to get it the first time around (if you do, CONGRATS!!), maybe not even the second, third, or forth. The idea is to stick with it. Make time for yourself, to allow the positive reinforcement to soak into your self conscious.  "The Daily Positive", "YouAreCreators", and "PowerThoughts Meditation Club" are a few of my favorite channels to scroll through and find meditations that fits whatever mood I am in or need to create. 

3. Enticing the Senses 

Everyone's senses operate differently. Some are more intrigued by touch, while some can be turned off by to much touch. Some people are moved by visual beauty, and others will take the beauty of sound, over sight. For me, I tend to close my eyes, so I can hear the music better, creating the images that pleases me in my mind.  It wasn't until after my cancer journey began, that I began to fall in love with smell. Noticing how different aromas, created different feelings within my heart and mind. While the smell of eucalyptus creates a energy of vitality, dragons blood makes me feel sexy. When mixing all of the things together that entice my senses, I create a energy of self love and self exploration that is Divine. Taking a hot bath (touch),  with a few drops of your favorite oils (smell), listening to your guided meditation, or favorite music (sound), with candles burning to create ambiance (sight),  sipping fresh squeezed juice, or your fav varietal (taste), can be done in a 10/15 minute bath. Of course, if time permits, stay in as long as you desire.  Repeat as often as you can. You can not over dose on Self Love. 

These are a just a few habits I practice daily to tell myself, "I Love YOU!".   Incorporating these practices into your daily lifestyle, will definitely help you increase your Self Love.  Consistency is everything. Love you! 

The “Mourning” After

“No one warns you about the amount of mourning in growth”  ~Unknown

That was the quote I saw on Instagram that prompted me to write this. A lot of times when we think of mourning, we think of mourning the loss of a loved one. However during your healing, a lot of growth will occur, and there are so many parts of yourself that will “die” as you grow. As you begin to identify your programming and traumas, you will begin to understand how they have played a role in the behavioral patterns you have grown accustomed to. 

As you realize the negative patterns/habits that you need heal from, you must identify the cause that brought upon the effect (your actions). In doing so, you should be taking a thorough look through your childhood relationships, programming, and trauma, in addition to your past friendships and love relationships. The mourning comes in the realization that while fulfilling their own journey in this incarnation, many of our love ones have been the source of our programming and trauma.

A sense of mourning may also come along when you are faced with a situation where you would normally react instead of respond. Reactions usually require little thought, and they tend to be a product of past experiences, fear, and/or, shock. Where as a responses (even low vibratory ones) have thought behind them. When you learn to respond instead of react, you will witness parts of your old self die, and you will have an opportunity to recreate yourself in your highest image of Self. I have found that many of our reactions come with a feeling of satisfaction, even when we know they decrease the vibrations of our being. It is at times like this, when you are given the opportunity to respond to an unpleasant situation, you may reflect on past behaviors that were not beneficial to the outcome. When reflecting on the past, you may find yourself disappointed in the way you may have previously handled things, and sometimes one may even find themselves repeating the behaviors of the past because they still have not completely healed. For many, this can be discouraging on their journey to mental wellness. The key is to stick with it no matter how hard it gets. Some of the behavioral patterns are so embedded, that many may not realize their lack of self control. Identifying the problem is the first step in gaining control of it. 

The amount of self realization that takes place during healing can be eye opening, but it can be tough as well. 

When you look at yourself in the mirror, and do a full assessment of Self, including but not limited to emotional/mental health, physical health, and self sabotaging behaviors, the findings can be intimidating for many. A lot of us are not as Self aware as we think we are. We do not realize or pay attention to the impact of the constant internal chatter, and lie to ourselves about our true self worth. As you inner-stand Self Love, and the lack of its presence in your decision making, you may also find yourself in a place of mourning. You must remember to be gentle with you!

Some of the most important things about the "mourning"are; allowing yourself to feel, asking yourself questions about your feelings, Self assessments, and the choice to recreate yourself in your Highest image of YOU! Your feelings are yours to honor, but not to waddle in for self pity. They allow you to get a better understanding of your emotional health, and move forward in healing your trauma and programming. 

One of the things I had to realize, is the “mourning” has the potential to resurface with every new ascension. Every time we go through an expansive time of growth and transition, we leave old patterns behind. With constant Self assessments, we can always find opportunities for growth, once again putting us in a situation where we have to evaluate the parts of Self that need work.

Healing & growth is a journey, but its well worth the destination of Peace.

A couple of tips to get through the mourning: 

Self Love touch:

I have found this practice does wonders for many emotions that we may go through. When you bathe, lotion, or oil your body, speak life into each part of your body that your hands touch. 

Thank your body for its strength, and all the hard work it does for you. I like to start at my feet, and work my way up to my heart; moving my hands in a clockwise motion to aid in circulation.  I thank every body part as I caress it, speaking aloud, "Thank you feet, I thank you for carrying this body we share, I thank you for allowing me to dance. Thank you too, little toes. Thank you legs, so beautiful and strong..." etc.   I find something to be grateful for, about every single body part. Speaking life into yourself is one of the most amazing things you can do for YOU. You may even find, that you have not given thanks to some parts of your body ever in life!! The effects of this will be immediate, even if minimal. The practice of this on a daily basis, will create a phenomenal appreciation for parts of you that you may have never given notice to.

Re-Minding: 

Re-minding or Minding your Mind- is full awareness of all thoughts and making the decision to change negative and/or counterproductive thought. There is no given time when we are not thinking. We talk to ourselves in our heads all the time, but what are we saying? We have to make sure our thoughts are aligned with the life that we choose to create. When you "Re-Mind", you are making sure to take notice off all of your thoughts at all times. Thats the goal. It's a lot more challenging than it sounds, considering we have been programmed with many past experiences. During mourning, many may have discouraging or negative thoughts about self worth. In these moments, it would be healthy to have a conscious change of mind, change of mental imagery, and replace negative thoughts with productive affirmations. When I began to mind my mind, I discovered all kinds of low vibratory thoughts that were creating unnecessary road bumps, keeping me from my highest image of Self. After making the decision to re-mind daily, for a period of time (30 days), it became a habit. I became fully aware of my thoughts, and my life began to change. 

Journaling: 

Journaling allows us to capture our feelings and release some frustration. This record of our feelings (written down at a significant time in our life) is probably triggered because of a certain situation. This can allow us to revisit, and resolve our emotions when we find ourselves in what seems to be a similar situation from the past. We can then self assess and determine if our feelings are feelings of the past, or if we are prejudging the present based on past experiences. Consistent journaling gives us the opportunity to track our growth. We are able to look back and see the changes in our behavior, and also what we need to work on. Sometimes when we journal, we uncover emotions that we wouldn't necessarily recognize without taking a moment to record them.  We also get to unload a little bit of tension, and unravel our minds onto paper so we can analyze our rawest thoughts. Journaling is a wonderful tool for self assessments. 

There are quite a few ways one can get through the mourning of healing; meditation, positive affirmations and music therapy are a few more that I've really enjoyed. If you have any techniques to share, please do below. Happy Healing!